The last few days have been horrendous! As I have written about previously, my grandmother has terminal lung cancer. This weekend I went to go visit her and her best friend Will that lives with her. I see her at least once a week if not much more. I had not seen her since the previous weekend and she was in fairly bad shape then. In addition to the fact that she can hardly breathe she can barely even think about food with out getting nauseated so she now weighs about 90 pounds. I have spent the last 2 years preparing for this, but there is no way to actually ready yourself to see someone you love wasting away. She has been the most intelligent person I have known through out my life but now she is starting to slip away. Seeing her in terrible shape was bad but it was just the start of a bad few days. Her friend Will and I went to visit my grandfather in the nursing home. That in itself is a really sad experience every time I go. He also was extremely intelligent and to see him there is horrible. There are all sorts of people there who never get visitors and appear to not have anyone who cares about them. That too makes my heart hurt. After we left, Will and I went to the super market to pick up a few things. Will has been experiencing what he thought was acid reflux for about a month. It got much worse anytimehe did physical activity. While we were at the store he started experiencing terrible pain which he automatically thoght was indigestion. He was insistent that he stay until the shopping was done but I forced him to go to my car and sit for the next few minutes while I finished shopping. He felt better once he rested but I knew that it needed to get checked out as soon as possible. The problem with that is that he has very little income and no insurance… and he hates doctors. Eventually I was able to convince him that he could go to the emergency room and a compination of Medicare and charity care would pay for it. I took him to the hospital and promised to stay the whole time. Eventually what it came down to is that he had had a heart attack. If I haden’t made him sit down it could have been far more serious and if he haden’t gone to the hospital it would have become worse. They wanted to keep him for 48 hours to make sure that he would be okay. They also determined that he likely has skin cancer. Skin cancer isn’t that terrifying but he has had it for atleast 2 years and refused to do anything about it so they fear it may have metasticized.
He does little things to care for my grandmother like get her food, drinks, and medication. She is too sick to be alone so we worked something out where I stayed there all day yesterday and last night and then my mom is staying there tonight.
This is the longest story ever that I’m sure is uninteresting to everyone but I had to get it out. It doesn’t even sound that bad but it felt horrible. I love my grandmother more than almost anyone and I also love Will. Like I said earlier, I have been preparing for 2 years for my grandmothers deterioration but I was not prepared for Will to be sick. It’s just really upsetting.
Your pain is not uninteresting. It is terribly sad and painful and I hope you know you are not alone.