I stumbled on a great blog today, it’s called Shapely Prose. The blog itself id about size acceptance. There was one entry that I really appreciated (http://kateharding.net/2007/11/27/the-fantasy-of-being-thin/) and I think that it applies to so much more than being fat. I’m pretty confident everyone has those things in their lives that they say they can’t accomplish until BLANK happens. In this particular blog it is about all the things people say they can’t accomplish until they get thin. This was the first time I had ever read anything about size acceptance. I guess maybe I had never thought about it before but I didn’t even knew a community based around that existed. I’m 24 years old and have hated my body since I was 13. Yeah there was that year or two when I was a size six but it isn’t the natural size my body wants to be. I am not fat, per-say. I am a little overweight. I am 5’11 and a size 12. When someone else looks at me critically they think “she could stand to lose 10 pounds”. When I look at myself critically all I can think is that I MUST lose 30 pounds. I can’t ever be fully happy until I’m thin. I hate what I see in the mirror. It sounds like a contradiction but I love myself, I just hate the body I come in. This blog was really enlightening. All the reasons I say have to lose the weight are crazy. What it comes down to is that for some stupid reason in the back of my mind I think that I would be completely happy if I was thin. That’s such bullshit! If I was thin, my boyfriend would still be a heroin addict. If I was thin my grandmother would still be dying of cancer. If I was thin my brain would still be exactly the same. I know that everyone has to put in effort to stay in shape but even when I was a teenager it I had to be SOOOO careful about what I ate or I would gain weight.
I really enjoyed the post. I’m tired of struggling to be a shape I’m not made for. I’m beautiful just the way I am, I just need to recognize that how I am right now is how I am going to stay and that is OK.
